You may have already seen or heard about this new "invention" from down under. Apparently an Australian "scientist" (pardon my numerous "air" quotes in this entry) has developed a shirt that plays air guitar.
From the BBC:
The T-shirt has motion sensors built into its elbows that pick up movements and relay them wirelessly to a computer which interprets them as guitar riffs.
One arm is interpreted as picking chords while the other strums.
The "wearable instrument shirt" is adaptable to both right and left-handed would-be rock stars.
"It's an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music-making - even by players without significant musical or computing skills," said the research team leader, Richard Helmer.
"It allows you to jump around and the sound generated is just like an original mp3."
Dr Helmer, an engineer from the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (Csiro) in Belmont, Australia, added that there was a serious side to the "wearable instrument shirt".
The researcher said similar sensors could be used in the future to reproduce a person in a virtual world so they could get feedback on their actions and improve their sporting techniques.
When will these people learn that air guitar is not something to be made virtual? Why do people keep trying to improve upon perfection?
I'll tell you why: these "scientists" are trying to give the old sell out to the Last Pure Art Form. They realize that air guitar is universal, and they see dollar signs in place of invisible guitars. They fancy themselves selling their idea to some global corporate conglomerate and buying summer homes in New Zealand. Well, I have news for you. It ain't gonna happen.
Björn Türoque, your humble and faithful air guitar servant, has watched the video. He can see right through their pathetic ploys. This thing will never sell. It's insanely clunky and in no way mimics the power of pure air guitar. (Imagine—the folly of mimicing the mimicry of guitar playing?)
As 2005 Air Guitar World Champion Michael Heffels notes of the Finn's "virtual" air guitar in my book:
(I think he was trying to be kind. I saw him this year in Finland. He was drunk and admitted the thing was pretty lame).
Do not be fooled my brothers! Air guitar is free! It is pure!
Go forth and rock, unencumbered!
-BT
1 comment:
I couldn't have put it better myself, Bjorn. I take it you will not be endorsing Guitar Hero II, no matter how much mullah they temp you with?
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