It's all explained in the following email:
Dear Mr.. Crane:
Hello again. First, I'd like to remind you of that time, about a month ago now, that you aided a student in dire need. Well that student, Phil Bothun, would now like to send a very large and warm thank you. I know that it has been a long time since I have contacted you over this subject, but I can now tell you the whole story.
Alright, so I began April 24, 2007, as any day, except in my hand I held my Washburn Lyon guitar case full of a pair of black pants I altered with Sharpie marker to have the Van Halen logo and to say Scorpions down the left side, a white t-shirt with the Van Halen logo, my aviator sunglasses, a set of Ibanez stereo headphones, and several CD's including Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon, AC/DC Fly on the Wall, Rush 2112 and several others. Since my English class was last period, I had a lot of time to think about my speech, so by the time I got in class I was pretty nervous because truthfully, my air guitar routine was not practiced at all.
The girl before me in line to do her speech went and she did okay, it was on flight attendants; I found that funny, flight attendant before air guitarist, a sign from God. Then, as arranged before, that same girl went out of the classroom with me and proceeded to put on the heaviest Alice Cooper-esque make up you have ever seen, around my eyes. I mean that this stuff was so think that it was black, not the dark bags under my eyes to have a stoned effect. This stuff was solid black. But anyways, I went to the bathroom and dressed in my garb, including my Aves to hide my make up, that no one had seen yet, and just coolly strode into my classroom, as if nothing was different.
I took the stage (the front of the class), and took eight minutes to convey much of the information I gained from my interviews with you, your book, and the official websites of the US Air Guitar Championship, and the World Air Guitar Championship. I thought that my speech went well and it turns out it did. I got an A- on the speech... But then the icing on the cake came.
I was told that I had some extra time for my speech so my teacher asked if I had prepared a certain piece to play. So, of course, I said yes and I put my CD in to play the one song I felt the most comfortable with: "Take it Off" by The Donnas.
And, if I do say so myself, I literally SHREDDED! It was amazing, a blur... So much so, that I really have no clue what I did. I remember that there was a David Lee Roth signature jump, the foot on the monitor/ foot on the desk move and so on and so forth, it was just.. amazing.
So, like I said, I received an A-, one of the best grades in my class, talking about the Holy Trinity: Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll. But, the most amazing thing was the day after when one of the students in the same class, only earlier in the day, came to me and said that in their English class the teacher had said, after constant nagging, that it would be alright if I did my speech again.
So like any psychedelic rock show, I, a humble air guitarist, got an encore. I was able the next week on a Friday to do my speech all over again. At eight o'clock in the morning. Except there were two new additions to my show. 1. I changed my song to an edit of Hot for Teacher, and yes, I do know that the Air Guitar potential of that song was not as high as others, but I had to do the song for the effect. 2. I was able to scope out a pair of pants that my friend owned. Not any pair of pants, mind you. A pair of genuine 80's leather pants, which are shown off in the pictures enclosed.
Sorry, but I forgot to inform you that, although I was nervous before, there was only about half the class there at the time I did my speech the first time. Now all of the kids who had missed it seventh period wanted to come and see it second period, so now I was performing in front of one and a half classes, and after the first time, the more the merrier.Well, to be frank, the second time went like a charm and I kicked some (pardon my French) ass, and took some names and numbers.
So, that is where I lay now, on the 17th of May in my chair at my computer finishing off my epic letter to an air guitarist I should bow to right about now because, if it weren't for you, I would not be passing English.
So, thank you once again. I hope you can handle having one more person who idolizes you.
Rock on Sir,
Phil B.
Student at Parker High School
