Björn Türoque's Next Mission

Björn Türoque's Next Mission: Beat the Air Guitar World Record.

Last weekend in the UK, Sheffield metalers SAXON led a halftime attempt to break the world record for most simultaneous air guitarists, held previously by 5,000 attendees of Guilfest, who rocked out together to 'Sweet Child of Mine' in 2006.

Apparently, the effort was a dismal failure, but was given the award anyway:

If things couldn't get any worse for the bumped Wednesday crowd inside Hillsborough - they did. The half-time entertainment revolved around Sheffield band 'Saxon' attempting to break a world record for the most people playing air guitar.

Such was the disappointment inside the ground - apart from the 6,000 or so Mackems in the Leppings Lane end - hardly anyone joined in, yet the band were still awarded the world record by officials!

So, Americans, it is up to us. We cannot continue to let our global air supremacy go unchecked like this. Mark my word, in 2007, Björn will lead a group of at least 7,000 in a massive air orgy, the likes of which Mr. Guinness has never seen...

Air-Do-Well is with me. Anyone else?

Air Guitar is Not a Crime

The city of Ojai briefly banned air guitar in a public park:



But as this article states:

Joe DeVito, another city council member, said he would not support a ban on air guitar, much to the relief of air guitarists across the valley.
“This is the first time I have ever heard of air guitar,” said DeVito, “but if anyone wants to sit around, anywhere, playing air guitar, I can’t imagine anyone denying them that right.”

The Wiitar

Ok, some dork has figured another technological "alternative" to the air guitar. Using the Wii remote controls, he's hacked himself a virtual air guitar (albeit with lame, MIDI Christmas music).



When will these people learn that technology will never replace the air?

As Marx wrote in the Communist Manifesto, "All that is solid melts into air."

Björn on USA Network...

Even my shrink saw me. Apparently he watches reruns of Law and Order on the USA Network. (Did I just broach my doctor/patient confidentiality agreement?)

Yes...in this segment I subliminally attempt to pimp Visine and a Jeep while teaching one-hit wonders Evan and Jaron how to air guitar.

I have truly sold out.

I'm sorry.

If it's any consolation, they paid me nothing.